To Satan; Love Your Biggest Fan

Dear Satan,

I’m writing to you because I’m like your biggest fan. You’re like so cool! Everyone knows you. You’re like sooo popular. They even talk about you in songs it’s like so unreal. And not just like one type of style of songs, you’re like in ALL types of songs: hip hop, punk, metal, country, rock & roll, ska, folk, r & b,  garage rock… I mean like EVERYONE mentions you in the music scene. I totally like music just to let you know. Not sure which one I like the most, but whatever you think is cool I probably would think is cool too. I can’t remember which bands I like, but when I check Twitter to see who everyone’s talking about in music I’ll let you know. I think we should totally hang out. We could be like friends ya know. Anyhow, yeah you’re really awesome. You’re like everywhere! Not just in music too. You’re like in fashion, art and even in movies they make fun of you. Not like in a mean way duh. They just sometimes have actors play you and it’s kinda funny. In like a cool way though. It’s really ill dude. I mean you’re so cool that people talk about you and you’re not like even around. Oh my gosh I forgot to tell you, even my friends have your name tattooed on them. It’s so tight man. And you know tattoos are like permanent right? I was thinking about getting your name tattooed. Or maybe I can get a portrait of you tatted on me. Not sure yet. I’m afraid of needles and other stuff like reality, sincerity, honesty, modesty, ethics & morals and being unpopular…but duh aren’t we like all kinda scurrred. Scurrred means scared. I heard it used by like Lil Weezy or something. Do you know Lil Wayne?! That’d be so cool if you did cuz he’s like so popular too. Yeah but anyways, I think we should really hangout cuz I mean if I were seen with you, people would think I was the coolest…or atleast that’s what I’d hope for. We would totally get along too in my opinion. I don’t know too much about you, but what I do know is that EVERYONE nowadays thinks your cool. That guy from that band ODDFUTURE, FuckTyler or something, he totally loves you too. He talks about you so much and draws your name everywhere. It’s like the coolest. So anyways… I hope to hear from you.

 

Your biggest fan,

Hipster

P.S. Do you have a Facebook?

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