Dreams are strange…I always have the strangest dreams…for weeks I’ll remember each one in detail…and then a week later I can’t remember anything I dreamed about at all…It’s strange…I don’t know if other people are weird like me but I hope so…I’ve had dreams about unicorns & purple rivers and drinking the water from the river and thinking it tasted like chocolate, black & white images, cartoons, fighting off inmates that have escaped with just a yo-yo, seeing a snake eat an apple and spit it out with disgust, flying & seeming to not understand how to jump back up to fly again then flying again without being able to get back down, me & pb having lunch with Larry David at a writer’s conference and giving my seat up in the front for a girl in a wheelchair, speaking to my grandma who passed many years ago at a royal table with my cousins while we watch a sword fight, talking to Kurt Cobain about life while we jam in a grass field…it’s weird how vivid some dreams could be…like some images get imprinted into my mind…as if I really was there or as if they were real places…sometimes the places are a mix of one place I’ve been to with another…I try & write most of my thoughts & dreams down in the mornings while it’s still fresh in my memory and even keep a notebook in my bed because I wake up in the middle of the night with ideas & thoughts…it’s weird…please back me up people…you dream weird too yeah???!
I usually don’t put my dreams out there on display…but this one really felt like a movie…and for the first time in my dream I really thought it was a movie…so since I haven’t wrote anything on my blahblahblah’g in a minute…I thought I’d share an intimate moment…maybe it’s a sign…I should find an agent and really get all my projects out there…there’s just notepads and stories with no one to read them or even see them and I really feel like they should be seen!!! Especially after reading my stupid hocus pocus about being a Leo/Virgo cusp…it said something about me being too secretive so I thought I would give my secret…or dream…some exposure.
I REALLY had this dream last night…full detail…no joke…it was crazy…good thing I have today off to write…right when I woke up I wrote this (17, April 2013 8:07 am):
“I went to visit my mom’s friend with her. She lived in a duplex. An old one but it was a beautiful antique house and the neighborhood was filled with these beautiful old little houses. When I looked out the front something was very reminiscent of it. For some reason I felt like I had been there before. I thought it was my good friend Erica’s house for some reason down the street…but when I looked back at the house again it wasn’t. The neighborhood had changed. The houses were even smaller. My mom’s friend’s house had little in it…almost empty. My grandma even came with me & my mom to visit her friend. The funny thing is is that I know my mom’s friend doesn’t have a daughter, but in my dream she did…and my grandma passed away a few years ago, but in my dream I didn’t even think of it. The daughter was exactly the same age as me, but she was different than me. Some call me a goody-goody straightedge…but the daughter? She wasn’t. I could tell she was high on drugs. She was wearing this white tank top that only covered her underwear slightly. I thought to myself…”I would have never thought she would have such a daughter like her…” She’s such a sweet church going lady & her daughter didn’t seem anything like that. Her mom introduced me to her & told us to run along & play as if we were some little kids. So I went next door with her. She said it was her good friends that lived next door. They were her business partners too. When we went next door it was a group of beautiful girls. Almost all of them looked & dressed like they just came off a Victoria’s Secret Runway…but there was something different about them. They weren’t as feminine…well they were super feminine looking but they didn’t seem as frail or vulnerable like some models may come off. They were discussing something, but I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what they were talking about. Something about their boss. I wondered if they were prostitutes or something. That’s what it came off as and then I thought, “How the hell do I get outta here.” Anyhow… they were drinking, smoking and enjoying each others company. It was weird because they were so nice to me. It was like we had been friends for a long time. I don’t know. All of a sudden the girls were dressed in black. Almost military uniform…but a feminine attractive military style. I felt so awkward. I was dressed in black already because that’s what I usually wear but I had a Harley Davidson eagle top on. There’s was all solid black, but to me I felt like I almost fit in unintentionally. They told me their boss was coming to visit and that he was looking to hire someone but before I even had the chance to ask what the job was or where it was a loud SUV drove up. One of the girls peeked out the window & said he was here. They opened the door and one ran down the front porch steps and gave him a big hug & kiss. I wondered, “Is that her boyfriend?” Some girls were on the porch & some were looking out the door from inside. I shyly looked from behind the girls inside. He came with an entourage. There was a few of them, but two that I distinctly remember was my real life boyfriend PB & The Walking Dead’s Norman Reedus. Oh I forgot to tell you…the funny thing was that their boss was Quentin Tarantino. Then it hit me…I wasn’t really living all this…I was re-enacting a movie with these people. For some reason in my dream I thought we were just playing out a film and I somehow ended up playing one of the characters. At times in my dream I would ask myself, “Is this really happening??? Or are we playing out a movie?” I could never pinpoint which was which in my dream so I just went along with it. I mean in a dream you kinda just have to. They funny thing is is that I felt sometimes that it had to be real because these feelings I would get was felt to the heart and felt as if I was really experiencing that emotion at exactly that time and it was even stranger when I’d be communicating with characters I would be in my body communicating with them and then there were times when I would watch myself doing something. It was always from behind though. I never saw my face. So weird. Anyhow…the first girl that ran up to him to hug & kiss him I thought might’ve been his girlfriend because they hugged & kissed so passionately, but then… he hugged & kissed every girl passionately. I was so afraid that he was gonna try & do the same thing with me. I was confused. I mean I do have a boyfriend you know. I thought to myself, “Maybe it’s a foreign thing.” I couldn’t figure it out. When he got to the last girl who was in front of me he got to me and almost kissed me but realized he didn’t know me. “Bernadette right? You must be the girl I heard about.” “Good things I hope,” I said. So cliche…but it was a movie we were recreating so in my head it must’ve just been part of the dialogue. Quentin Tarantino playing pretend with me. I was stoked. He then kissed me on each check before taking both of my hands to kiss. Then we all sat around. Tarantino then said, “I hear you’re looking for a job.” I told him, “Not really, but yeah I guess.” He seemed to be irritated with my answer and with no hesitation I said, “Yeah of course.” Then I was hired. I never heard what the job was, but for some odd reason I thought we were like in some mafioso and that Tarantino was the mafia boss. It was crazy though. The girls had all these cool practice areas in there backyard almost like in ‘The Hunger Games.’ A bow & arrow area, one with nunchucks, ninja stars, swords, guns…it was crazy. We practiced & trained and I felt like I was just a natural at it. Or was able to pretend very well. It must’ve been just a jump because dreams do that…but it was as if I was part of their team for awhile…the weird thing is is that this dream played out like a movie…most jump from one place after another after another, but this one…just played out. Tarantino then asked me and another girl to get into his black SUV. In my dream for some reason PB & Norman Reedus played Tarantino’s cousins. I don’t know why, but in my dream they were part of his entourage and related to him. Then we got to a gas station and there was someone on a motorcycle pumping gas. Norman Reedus got out and said, “I’ll be right back…gonna grab that motorcycle.” Then me & PB said to each other, “So that’s how he ends up with a motorcycle on The Walking Dead.” We then drove out to this secluded ranch/barn. We got out and then Tarantino told me & the other girl that he had to make a decision as to which of the two of us were going to die because that’s how his business worked. All of a sudden the other girl turned into the girl from ‘Kickass’ Chloe Grace Moretz. I don’t know why I was braiding her hair, but I ended up braiding her hair like the wife from ‘Vikings.’ Like how she wears her hair before she goes into battle. Then Tarantino kept pointing back & forth at me & Chloe Grace Moretz saying, “Who’s gonna die. You or you? You or you? You or…” and then pointed at me. Then Chloe ran to this weird tomb and started to dig at it…then this lady started to get out of the dirt…it was Shelly Long from ‘Cheers.’ Shelly Long just looked at me with all the dirt on her; dressed in an old blue prairie dress and said to me, “Run!” Tarantino then came at me with an oldschool meat tenderizer. Trying to hit me and all of a sudden a meat tenderizer and metal bucket appeared in my hands. I kept blocking his hits while three random guys from his entourage was trying to grab me too. I fought hard and then fell. I then got back up and threw the meat tenderizer & bucket at Tarantino and started running. I ran across an open field and found a neighborhood. I ran & jumped over all these roofs, fences and brick walls. Back & forth, back & forth did I see me run and then see it again in first person. Third person then first person…back & forth. I ended up on this huge open parking lot and when I looked back I saw Tarantino and a huge group chasing after me. Then for a moment I thought to myself, “This is the part of the movie when an axe is thrown at my character and kills me by going through my back.” I looked back again in third person and I saw next to Tarantino was this intimidating girl who was running with an axe. She threw it and I saw myself in third person now all of a sudden dressed in white fall to the ground. I realized it didn’t go through my back and that I had a chance in surviving. I was back in first person. It only scratched the top of my shoulder. I continued to run and found a RV…like those tour bus kind. I got in it and for some reason I knew it was the girl whose position I filled…she said she didn’t die and that I could trust her and her new boss was Robert Rodriguez. Funny? Ironic? Yeah I thought so too. She said tomorrow morning that they were gonna go after Tarantino and his entourage. I told her I would join and she told me I had to pick a pair of shoes to wear. There were boxes of shoes. Mostly kids sizes. Then I found a pair a really cool black with green trimmed pair of Doc Martens. I wanted to wear those, but she said that she was wearing those and that I had so many other ones to choose from…then I woke up…closed my eyes again…and was right back where I left off in my dream. I forcibly opened my eyes to wake up because I realized that I was dreaming and that it wasn’t a movie. I told myself, “I should wake up now and write this before I forget.” So I did…and this is what I wrote. Dreams can be so weird sometimes. Where the fuck do dreams come from? And why the fuck does it feel so real…took me a second to realize it wasn’t a movie…just a dream.”
Dreams are so strange. You believe it’s real in your dream then you wake up wondering where the heck did that thing come from…I’ve had many strange dreams…like my Freddy Kreuger one I wrote an earlier blog about. See…I’ve been dreaming so vividly since I was a kid. Maybe that’s why I’m a writer. Who knows.