When I was a kid and all the way up to my late teens I always wanted to be an actress. I thought it’d be so much fun to play make-believe, pretend and be part of a fictional reality where make-believe was put into a moving visual with sounds, colors and things beyond what we each imagine ourselves. A place where we can let go of our own emotions and for a moment live in a fictional yet realistic world. Then I realized I’m too shy, ugly and awkward for something like that. Good thing I realized that there’s a difference between writing & acting.
Acting is hard and I definitely don’t have the balls for such a thing. I then also realized that I wouldn’t be the one creating this fantasy. I couldn’t say to the producer, director or writer, “Oh well I think instead of her wanting to be with a ‘cool rider’…why doesn’t she just buy her own motorcycle and all the Pink Ladies ride the motorcycles and the T-Birds are their fan club…no? Damnit I quit.”
It took me some time to realize that I wanted to be a writer and also understand that I was capable of being a writer. I fuckin’ suck at proper grammar (as you can see), but I’m resourceful when it comes to “what-ifs” – “ands” – “buts” -and/or- “why nots.” I realized that although there are some specific writing jobs that require proper grammar, the writing I do doesn’t…well…maybe it does, but fuck it I’m gonna continue to write for the love of it. The biggest push in me writing is those that have inspired me to do so. There’s so many people that inspire my writing but the ones that always come to mind and that keep me wanting to push to accomplish my goals in writing are: Kurt Sutter, Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Melissa Rosenberg, Ray Bradbury, Garth Innes, Kurt Cobain, Charles Bukowski, Patti Smith, Leonard Cohen, Tina Fey, Mark Twain, Kevin Smith, Helen Keller, Larry David, Dan Brown, Martin Scorsese, Stephen King, Stanley Kubrick, David Hershkovits and Albert Einstein…really…there’s far too many people I’m a fan-geek of, but those are the ones that came to my mind immediately while typing this. This assortment of artists bring inspiration to me because their work has touched me emotionally & mentally. Their stories are beautiful. Their ideas are unique. They say things that make me go, “Oh shit, I never thought of it that way…” or, “I was thinking the same thing! I love ________…!!!” or “I wish we were best friends I love how their mind works…”
I can’t choose a specific type of writing as my favorite (although moving pictures & beautiful sounds are very therapeutic to my soul). Yet, there’s something about writing that calls to me beyond the material world. For me, there’s a difficulty in creating my own authentic puzzle of words. Like my mom always tells me, “Bern, you know you’re a Jill of all trades but a master of none…” When she tells me that I know she’s being sarcastic, but at the same time I totally agree.
There’s a science to everything and that’s what I love about humanity. We can learn & create things like each task in life is a science project. We have the freewill to do so. We can freely do things when we want, how we want or even if we don’t want to we don’t have to (sometimes). Unlike other living animals and living organisms; we as humans have cognition, cogitation and contemplation. Those are beautiful things.
The reason why I like writing is because for me, it’s the hardest mission for me to fulfill. It gives me this frustration yet motivation and I can’t help but be totally infatuated with the “what-ifs” – “ands” – “buts” -and/or- “why nots” that boggle my mind and keep me drawn to writing more & more & more. It’s my outlet in which the make-believe and the reality in my thought process bump into each other and make explosive love. I like to come up with stories or have deep philosophical conversations yet sometimes my talks with people could be too long and easily side-tracked with another subject off-topic and in the end my family and friends go, “Wait what are you talking about? I got the first part of it, but I got lost like an hour ago…” I love my friends and family for not punching me in the face for talking too long about the most strangest of things.
No matter what, if my writing never gets recognition nor gets sold, either way it doesn’t matter because why I like writing is why I like writing.
So…if you’re thinking about writing…do it…just do it.
Now get to writing…I’m talking to both you and me…okay…back to pen & paper…adios!!